walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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