With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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