wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much rum. So many feels.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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