maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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