Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.

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(715): went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower. http://tfl.nu/u1zb

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(802): View more from Vermont

I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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(802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.

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(508): Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere. http://tfl.nu/v9sm

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.

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(615): i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time. http://tfl.nu/0k6p

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(540): View more from Virginia

i really wish james franco would like my vagina

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(540): i really wish james franco would like my vagina http://tfl.nu/g4mj

Replies (25) Good night (5695) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

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(859): I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny." http://tfl.nu/6v00

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(951): View more from California

Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants

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(951): Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants http://tfl.nu/uwlg

Replies (8) Good night (3224) Bad night (754)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?

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(217): Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me? http://tfl.nu/r928

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(312): View more from Illinois

She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...

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(312): She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it... http://tfl.nu/f47h

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(301): View more from Maryland

do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

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(301): do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit? http://tfl.nu/0117

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(707): View more from California

It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.

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(707): It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar. http://tfl.nu/oai9

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.

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(603): Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today. (603): Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me. http://tfl.nu/6wu2

Replies (3) Good night (2598) Bad night (466)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.

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(908): You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night. (732): Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/bgum

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(503): View more from Oregon

My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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(503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz

Replies (7) Good night (1223) Bad night (295)
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(971): View more from Oregon

He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.

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(971): He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME. http://tfl.nu/az6l

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