Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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