i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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