would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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