Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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