He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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