My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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