How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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