he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize