3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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