I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize