So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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