Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize