I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize