shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
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Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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