i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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