Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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