I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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