am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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