I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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