I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
this is an emotional support booty call
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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