ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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