i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
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You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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