He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize