please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize