Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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