You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
so much tequila, so little girl.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize