Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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