Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
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Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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