Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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