i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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