I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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