I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
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In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
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Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The Olympian is in my bed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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