Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize