when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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