you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize