Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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