I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize