This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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