the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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