so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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