Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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