How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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