There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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