i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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