Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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